Vocabulary Lesson
If you could take one word out of your child’s vocabulary, what would it be?
Mine is easy - “need” is used way too much around this house. I don’t think Dash even knows the difference between want and need. In fact, he might not even know about wanting, because he never is. His entire universe is a chasm of ‘I need’s strung together with outstretched arms and stomping feet.
“I need chalk.”
“I need wampons [tampons]* .”
“I need Bob Bob.”
“I need snacks.”
“I need wing [swing].”
etc.
For the longest time, his need was hilarious and welcomed, because his Southern accent is really pronounced as he declares his lusts. “Aaaahh neeeeeed!” Now, as I move around the house doing little chores and watching fish sticks sizzle in the oven, I hear him [always just a few paces behind me] proclaiming his need for various things he sees along the way.
“Oh wow, books.”
“Oh wow, I need that camwa.”
“Mommy! I need papers!”
By all means, Dash, take that stack of bills and do what you want with them.
*Yesterday I spoke on the phone for about ten minutes and upon entering Dash’s room when I was done, I found a previously unopened box of tampons laying on the floor. Tampons were thrown around the room, some unwrapped, some still in their plastic. Not seeing Dash in his room, I walked into the bathroom because I heard the word most mothers dread: “FWUSH!”
My toilet was full of about fifteen tampons, swollen and bouyant, desperately trying to go down the potty tunnel.
Dash clapped with glee, “Mommy, floating!”
“Of course, darling, they’re floating. Let’s go clean up the mess.”
“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“I need wampons.”
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