Archive for April, 2005
Potty Training Take 3
Step 1: Put on briefs and set up potty in the bathroom.
Step 2: Ask if he needs to go potty about 1,000 times an hour.
Step 3: Set him up on the potty even if he says he doesn’t have to go.
Step 4. Hand him toilet paper so he feels like a big boy.
Step 5: Sing the ‘Pee Pee Song’. [Don’t laugh, it’s a cute song]
Step 6: Give up after 20 minutes of sitting on the potty.
Step 7: Leave bathroom and hear faint whisper behind me, “Uh oh”.
Step 8: Wash, repeat.
A lot of people have told me that Dash “isn’t ready” for potty training. Maybe they’re right, but I still do it because I refuse to treat my child like he has some some of disability because he can’t communicate as well as other kids his age. Having a hearing loss does not have anything to do with whether or not he is ready to pee on the potty, and as long as he’s having fun, we keep trying. If it turns out he’s not ready, he’s not ready, so be it. I’ll make the decision, though, thankyouverymuch.
Even if it means changing underwear 80 times a day for a weekend. 
Censorship
I know most of you that read this fairly often are used to an update from me once a day, but lately I just haven’t had the motivation. It’s not that I don’t have plenty of things to say [trust me], it’s that I’m constantly becoming aware of just how much stock people put in these words.
There was a time when no one here knew about the blog, and that isn’t the case anymore. For a lot of reasons, this is a good thing. For even more reasons, this is a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong: I love that people want to check in on me, and I’m flattered when people compliment the site. Shit, I’m flattered when people hate it, that’s not the issue. The problem is that people’s expectations and or judements mean hardly anything to me, but I’m forced to consider them anyway.
A friend here told me months ago to ignore the stress of writing for an immediate “audience”, and to just write like I always have. This person made it clear to me that I shouldn’t be altering what I want to say for anyone, and I totally agree. I’m having problems following through with this, no matter how much I want to. There is always something to consider when writing something up, and frankly I’m sick of it.
I guess I miss the privacy [I know, “privacy” on the internet, haha. I mean privacy as in only strangers read it and I didn’t have to answer questions about things I wrote to acquaintances and strangers] I used to have. The site began as a way to keep in touch with family while I was in Germany, and morphed into a place to test chapters for a book, and keep sane while in a really bizarre situation. Now it’s barely an indication of me at all - it is so watered down and boring I feel like it’s totally pointless.
My dearest friend in the States, Caz, gave me solid advice: Fuck ‘em. I should, and she’s totally right. The problem is that I simply don’t have time to deal with the ramifications of being totally unfiltered. My mom doesn’t want to read about an argument we had on this weblog. I don’t have time for any more unnecessary dirty looks and judgements regarding how I choose to parent my son - I get enough of those already for less important reasons. I don’t feel comfortable making Husband Bad posts anymore because my mother in law reads the site, and I don’t like to talk about things Dash does with his friends because I’m afraid of someone reading and either being upset they are mentioned or mad that they weren’t.
I can’t win. Yes, I could make entries every day that go something like this:
Everything is great and I love everyone and nothing went wrong and there isn’ t anything to be irritated at and woo hoo super happy face!
but that’s not me, and I refuse to become that person.
I don’t know what will end up happening with this site. Maybe some of the other moms who read this can sympathize [I know a TON of you have been in similar, if not identical situations and might have some good advice] and at the very least, relate to reading someone write about not wanting to write. One good thing to come out of all of this is the completion of some very exciting chapter in the book, so I try to keep positive that way. Most of the time, however, I tend to get pissed off at people when I think about this place. If you think I’m talking about you, just calm the fuck down and consider the fact that you’re not as goddamned important as you think you are.
J., R., A.: Thank you for keeping me sane during all of this!
This is usually when I forget about it
Typically I lose my strength and cut my hair as soon as it starts getting warmer: I can’t stand having so much thick hair when it’s hot, it just drives me insane. Perhaps my hair will be easier to deal with here [insert homesick remark regarding Texas summers] and I can continue to let it grow. You have no idea what an accomplishment it is that I’ve let it go this long!
I have this great idea for a hairstyle if I can ever get the time to plug in a blow dryer.
Good Times
New Rule: Mommy can not fold laundry (or do anything else, for that matter) if it requires her to leave the Monster to his own devices for ten minutes.
