I Forget Myself

I nearly killed myself trying to make sure Dash was totally prepared for school, and in the middle of the chaos, nearly forgot to put a bra on before I left the house. Luckily my boobs made their absolute [or nearly absolute] freedom known as I trotted down the stairs.

“Hang on Dash, Mommy needs a harness.”
“O-TAY!”

I know I’m not the first mom to take her child to daycare and feel such overwhelming guilt, and this isn’t even the first time for me and Dash since he attended a Montessori in the States, but it still stings. If he was crying when I left him that would be unbearable, yet it’s still pretty damn painful to know that you’ve left the building and he hasn’t even noticed. He loves it there, so I am counting the proverbial blessings while I have them.

My first full day of teaching is tomorrow, and I just realized that I have no idea what to expect. Between the three classes I have, I somehow have to find a man that makes keys and figure out what my schedule is for next week. I have no idea what I’m wearing and I have no clue as to what is actually expected of me.

If you’ve seen the movie In Good Company with Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid, you are ready for the analogy even if it’s not totally apt: I’m riding in an elevator up to my new job where people have bloated expectations of me, confiding to someone that I am scared shitless.

Don’t tell anyone.

The Spring soundtrack is Bloc Party. If you haven’t listened, you should. I’ll put a song or two of theirs on the Soundblox later in the week.

Nate cried and cried the first time he went to preschool and it about killed me. Katie said “Bye!” and ran away like I never exhisted and it nearly killed me. I feel ya sista.

PS I love your SOundblox.