“A shiner like a diamond”

So my friend drove me home shortly before Mike’s softball game tonight to change, in the event that they needed another player. There is a tournament going on, and we were worried they’d have to forfeit if not enough people showed up. I quickly changed and returned to the field to discover I was batting third and catching.

Huh.

I did alright, I guess. I didn’t strike out, and I had 2 RBI’s (on an error, but still). I also did the greatest (stupidest) thing ever, which was run full speed toward first after tapping the ball just barely out of the box (a tard bunt, really) and TRIPPED on the first base line, sliding nearly into first but actually MISSING IT. It was like a Steve Martin movie: I was laying on my stomach, inches from first base, arms stretched out, unable to touch the bag. It was pathetic.

In my defense, I had lost both my contacts earlier in the game and actually couldn’t tell where first base was, so halfway into my “trip”, I decided to “slide”. I’m truly a genius.

The spoils are pretty badass, though — maybe now I can finally hang with my friend who recently broke two fingers while in my care. I’m planning on making her accompany me to the playground, where we will threaten bullies with violence, telling them we got our injuries from 4 year olds who dared to disrespect our spawn.

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OOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!! HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS PAINFUL!

Geez girl duck or something next time and if someones chasing you with a bat remember run

oh and as a side note the bill hicks clip brilliant for sure. You my dear have good taste. Bravo to you

oh this is shelly’s friend don’t worry i’m not a freak well only a little but shh they’ll take me away

ow! ow! ow! ow! OW!!

oh goodness, paige. that hurts ME just looking at it.

i hope it heals fast soon and doesn’t cause too much scarring.

1.) I sure hope that’s mercurochrome coloration in those abrasions.
2.) What the hell? Are you playing softball on concrete? I took a spill on my motorcycle doing 30 and didn’t get it that bad.
3.) Godspeed with the healing. I hope the scarring is minimal - nice legs are few and far betixt thesedays.

Josh-
Thanks, I am most afraid of the scarring. I joked to my friend, “My shin modelling days are OVER!”

We were just playing in dirt… I’ve decided I am a one-woman wrecking crew. I recently burned my ankle on my friend’s motorcycle, and have a potential ankle-modelling career catastrophe there, too.

I like your site, btw.

Why, thank you very much.

hey paige? guess what? i’ve got wounds just like those! on my leg, on my arm, and on my hand. a jerk jumped out in front of me this evening while i was riding my bike. before i could get around him, i flipped over the handlebars and scraped across the pavement.

sweet.

so now i can say “i feel your pain” because, well, i do.