The one where she fumes about television
The Armed Forces Network Europe offers us a variety of shitty reruns and weird sci-fi shows on a regular basis, and for this I am grateful. Grateful because I (apparently) was a bit of a tv junkie when I was at home in the States, and I’ll watch Battlestar Galactica and Girlfriends all day long without so much as a twitch from my superiority complex.
Sometimes, however, I get really pissed at my “dumb box” [as my husband and I lovingly refer to our television] and it’s lack of interesting programming. Just the other day I was complaining about how we had to wait months before we saw any Lost episodes, then had a two month break in the middle of the season, forcing us to wait until last Wednesday to see the season finale. Of course we already knew what happened - it’s all Americans talk about. Well, that and their pesky class wars.
ANYWHO, one show we do get over here is America’s Most Wanted, which could easily be replaced by any number of relevant shows [See my TV Wishlist] since a) if I see an American fugitive on an Army base in uniform John Walsh will come here and kick all our asses and b) if I saw an American fugitive in Germany, I’d probably just gawk and stare, then try to get a picture for my blog.
What’s the deal with John Walsh, anyway? Everytime I watch the show (to get my only true crime fix available) I get the feeling he has to take a very high dose of Xanax to keep his rage under control. I watch him and feel like he’s trying to tell me something, something like, “It’s ok Paige, take the law into your own hands: let’s get this rapist and show him the nasty side of a broomhandle.”
Besides Walsh’s insatiable lust for catching bad guys, the show always leaves me feeling unsatisfied. Sure it’s true crime, but the shit’s not solved yet. I’d much prefer a tidy presentation of a crime, the subsequent investigation, and highlights of the trial. I want to see the bad guy in an orange jumpsuit and a family crying for joy on the front steps of the court house. I don’t want to hear about some jerk who robbed a bank and then disappeared into thin air. Let’s face it, we’re not talking about guys like DB Cooper, we’re talking about street urchins with mug shots that exude a sort of variation on the standard “Duh” facial expression, as their faces turn down and their mouths seem to say “I’m one lucky dumbass.” Hardly riveting.
I usually turn off the tv when AMW comes on or float over to BBC Learning channel to see what’s gonig on there. I’ve learned a lot about British history and spontaneous combustion in the last couple weeks. Then there’s German MTV which never fails to secure my worst fears about bad music.
Yes, it’s everywhere.
The moral of the story? Bittorrent clients like Azureus are my only chance to stay current with Deadwood.
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