Archive for October, 2005
October 31, 2005
Is that ok to say?
I know I’m a parent, and I know that whatever captures my child’s interest (CANDY) should be at the top of my priority list (provided it is morally acceptable and within reason), but Halloween just doesn’t do anything for me.
Granted, I enjoy dressing Dash up in his outfits each year. For his first Halloween, I forced him to be a pea pod. God that kid was cute. The best part was that back then, he’d actually keep things on his head, and the hood would actually sit there until I pulled it back. His second Halloween (which I don’t have pictures of on the computer, unfortunately) involved a bee costume that require a hood as well. You can see the costume at Babystyle. That year, we moved from Boston back to Texas the week of Halloween, and he didn’t do too much for the holiday, which was fine with me, because HELLO I just flew from MA to TX with a two year old and BOY IS MY THROAT DRY, if you know what I mean.
Last year I got him a giraffe costume, and I’m not ashamed to admit that he’s going to be a giraffe again this year. The costume is still huge on him, and he doesn’t really care. All he cares about his candy. Candy, candy, candy. And I have to walk him around, compiling mass quantities of candy that will inevitably make me Mean Ole Mom within 24 hours, all so he can have his stupid holiday.
This is why some parents go all Halloween is Evil and My Children Will Not Be Participating on their kids and acquaintances. It’s a pain in the ass, frankly. I am not “crafty”, and I don’t enjoy making things. I don’t want to dress up, and I certainly don’t do well at that whole Pretend to Be Excited thing when we approach people’s houses. “TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!!” is one of the most obnoxious phrases I can call to mind, and I cringe thinking about my child marching around, asking for handouts just because he’s in some outfit I’ve made him wear.
Yet, I’ll be out tonight, in the freezing-ass cold, walking Dash and his girlfriend around with my friend A., asking over-zealous neighbors for candy. I’ll pretend to be excited for him and his wide assortment of tooth-killers and goofballs, and I’ll promptly hide it all as soon as he falls asleep tonight. Tomorrow morning, when he wakes up for school and asks where his candy is, I’ll tell him a real giraffe (or Vader, or Frodo or whatever) came and stole it. Meanwhile, I’ll have a nice stash under my pillow and in my bra drawer.
Don’t look at me like that - I spend 364 days a year trying convince him not to eat that shit!
Happy Halloween, y’all.
October 30, 2005
If you are like me and have a bajillion DVDs and VHS tapes that your child has outgrown or doesn’t watch anymore, please send them to this 14 year old Californian girl who gathers them and donates them to children’s hospitals across America. The lovely Jen told me about this, and I’m unsure about a website. Even so, this chick is getting a box full of old tapes this week.
Kids Flicks
11755 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 1450
Los Angeles, CA 90025
October 27, 2005
I warned you that I was going to clean up the /music folder and remove the Soundblox, and I finally did. Soundblox might return someday, but for now it’s killing bandwith so buh bye. Friday Tunes will stay, which is good news for those of you who like to know what I’m listening to.
I felt bad removing all those mp3s, though, and since I know a lot of you listened to the Soundblox player at work and what not, I made a mix of the most popular songs for you. All the mp3s are available free on the web somewhere, I’ve just compiled them. If you have questions about a track, just ask.
Download the zip of music here, then get your cover art.
Enjoy.
October 26, 2005
Couldn’t help but laugh at this blatant Goatse reference while enjoying music videos on Antville.
I was pretty much smitten with the Goblin Cock one, though. Rob Crow makes me laugh.
That’s a good thing, y’all.
October 26, 2005
Dash had a good day at German kindergarten today, and we pretty much acted as hermits all afternoon. Mike called me to give me good news about my plans to return home, but I found myself torn. Should I be excited that it might almost be time to return to the States, or should I be staying for the full six months (or so they tell me) of treatments with this infertility doctor? The plan for right now is to go to our appointment next week and see what he says. There is a possibility my horomones are off, or my stress level is too high (who knows?), and we know we’re not barren since the wailing three year old never lets us forget, so I am trying to stay positive. If the people who tell me the timing isn’t right are correct, perhaps I should wait until we’re home to get pregnant again, anyway. I will continue to think about it and keep friends and family updated.
In other news, I fancified my Winamp, and did a lot of housework listening to music in my new Mac OS Panther rip-off of a Winamp skin. I also played with the site a bit, using a new masthead from Onatopp. I can’t decide if I like the sidebar links pink, but we’ll see. Feel free to share your thoughts.
My friend John IM’d to show me something he found on Amazon while searching for Civ 4 (which I assume will be the next installment of Civ 3, which I assume is some sort of game). “How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men” is currently available in paperback!
Though might I suggest an alternate title? How about “How to Dehumanize White Women, Women of Color and Yourself in 12 Easy Steps! NOW IN PAPERBACK!” That’s right, no more fumbling with pesky hardback covers guys, just delve right into the bendable and easily hidden paperback version of your favorite how-to on degredation!
Don’t cry, non-Asian guys, there’s something for you, too. Land yourself a hot Asian lady with the help of this how-to manual. Learn how to tempt exotic Asian women with your prowess in race relations and firm grasp of a woman’s needs and wants. Just hide the book before she comes over. From a (joke) review:
My therapist told me that I have low self esteem and that my narcissism has always been a sort of overcompensation for it. He also said that I have a tendency to take my self-hatred and turn it into hatred and fetishization toward other individuals and groups (hatred for Asian males and fetishization for Asian females). Well, I never wanted to believe them. What do they know? This book proves I was right!
After we laughed at those books for a while, I ventured on to such classics as Get Laid Today!, the up-and-coming How to Date an Exotic Dancer, and How to Date Younger Women (for men 35 and up). Score, huh? Amazon just helped me find at least 10 ironic Christmas gifts, thank you very much.
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