I hate Halloween

Is that ok to say?

I know I’m a parent, and I know that whatever captures my child’s interest (CANDY) should be at the top of my priority list (provided it is morally acceptable and within reason), but Halloween just doesn’t do anything for me.

Granted, I enjoy dressing Dash up in his outfits each year. For his first Halloween, I forced him to be a pea pod. God that kid was cute. The best part was that back then, he’d actually keep things on his head, and the hood would actually sit there until I pulled it back. His second Halloween (which I don’t have pictures of on the computer, unfortunately) involved a bee costume that require a hood as well. You can see the costume at Babystyle. That year, we moved from Boston back to Texas the week of Halloween, and he didn’t do too much for the holiday, which was fine with me, because HELLO I just flew from MA to TX with a two year old and BOY IS MY THROAT DRY, if you know what I mean.

Last year I got him a giraffe costume, and I’m not ashamed to admit that he’s going to be a giraffe again this year. The costume is still huge on him, and he doesn’t really care. All he cares about his candy. Candy, candy, candy. And I have to walk him around, compiling mass quantities of candy that will inevitably make me Mean Ole Mom within 24 hours, all so he can have his stupid holiday.

This is why some parents go all Halloween is Evil and My Children Will Not Be Participating on their kids and acquaintances. It’s a pain in the ass, frankly. I am not “crafty”, and I don’t enjoy making things. I don’t want to dress up, and I certainly don’t do well at that whole Pretend to Be Excited thing when we approach people’s houses. “TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!!” is one of the most obnoxious phrases I can call to mind, and I cringe thinking about my child marching around, asking for handouts just because he’s in some outfit I’ve made him wear.

Yet, I’ll be out tonight, in the freezing-ass cold, walking Dash and his girlfriend around with my friend A., asking over-zealous neighbors for candy. I’ll pretend to be excited for him and his wide assortment of tooth-killers and goofballs, and I’ll promptly hide it all as soon as he falls asleep tonight. Tomorrow morning, when he wakes up for school and asks where his candy is, I’ll tell him a real giraffe (or Vader, or Frodo or whatever) came and stole it. Meanwhile, I’ll have a nice stash under my pillow and in my bra drawer.

Don’t look at me like that - I spend 364 days a year trying convince him not to eat that shit!

Happy Halloween, y’all.

You dressed him up as a peapod for Christmas? That’s festive.

Good catch!

See how totally out of it I am?

Muahahaha. That’s the first thing I’ve been observant about in about three-ish months. I’m totally awesome as of late.

The peapod is SOOOO cute. Nice photography too.

I imagine, when I have children, I’ll go crazy about halloween for the first year or two… and then I’ll take a more “matter-of-fact” approach. Regardless, though, they’ll dress up as something… I miss Trick-or-treating and need an excuse to do it again… even if they come kicking and screaming

Smeagol took your candy, my preciousss. okay i just creeped myself out. i don’t mind the holiday so much but we just kinda half-ass it. My husband bought bags & bags of Mounds bars to hand out & I think he may as well hand out Ketel One & Cigarettes b/c what kid likes Mounds bars anyway? That’s actually not a bad idea, I’d trick or treat for liquor.

RevJim: Thanks for the compliment on the photo, I forgot I even had that set on my PC - it was a nice surprise. We just got back from trick-or-treating and I’m swearing it off. What a nightmare.

Sam: ha! I actually remember trading away Mounds one year - four or five houses were giving out mini-candy bars and we got there after all the Snickers were gone, doomed to leave with Mounds. Yuck!

Oh and they should be giving shots to the adults. I like Vodka and RedBull.

I was going to take Jack out and do trick or treat for Unicef since he can’t have candy yet but I am not for a couple of reasons. We don’t really live in an area that does the Unicef thing, so I’d have to explain it at every door and no one would believe me and give money, and it’s raining. A lot. (And I’m lazy and hate strangers, but that is an everyday thing, not a Halloween thing) So I am just going to put Jack in his pumpkin outfit (Jack-O-Lantern, get it!), and put on my witch hat and hand out candy to whoever shows up.
Blah.

Happy Halloween!

Awww, I just had a great time at my friends’ house…and they had margueritas for the adults.

Robin

so, um, you’ve taken some kick-ass photos for quite some time now, hmmmm? jealous.

he’s so cute.

SHOTS! I didn’t even think of that. Our house is set up QUITE well to offer the adults shots from one window while kids get candy at the door.

Next year for sure!

God, he’s so cute!!

We only get like, ten kids trick-or-treating around here. I get all weird though when the kids turn out to be talkers and then I don’t know what to say other than, “Uh huh. What a cute costume” and then I spend the next 10 minutes trying to figure out what the hell they were suposed to be.

I hate how each year, Halloween loses more and more of its luster. I wish I was still a kid.

Ruby
When got home, I had to help pass out some candy and I did the same thing. “Uh, happy halloween?” I don’t know what to say. :/