Keywords

One the most hilarious things I ever read on a blog was one woman’s collection of odd and head-scratching search terms people used to find her site via Google, Yahoo! and other search engines. I get some funny ones too, on occassion, and I figured I’d use this dreary Monday (when what I really want to do is play with my design) to share them with you.

• Fear of ducks

• Sufjan Stevens gay

• Ghetto Bootie

• Devendra Barnhart overrated

• How to date a white woman?

• Sandwich fucking

??

• Star Jones had gastric bypass??

• Miss goatse

• Son wipes poop on walls

• Husband makes me go braless

• Wolf Parade are retards

• How to tell female friend about her body odor

• Hand foot mouth disease bad for pregnant woman?

• Texas is like a retarded kid with too much self esteem

Regarding that last one, if I ever find out who found me through that, a big ole ass-whoopin’ will take place.

I once wrote about seeing “Camel Toe Reunion” pop up, which led to one of my favorite comments of all time:

What’s even more weird, is that someone who participated in the inagaural camel toe event would have enjoyed it enough to organize, host, blog and, presumably, photograph, the second gathering, the actual camel toe reunion. what if we’ve been missing out all these years? Maybe there’s a whole subculture out there for you to explore, yet another group to learn about. Or, maybe they are a group of drug addled freaks who are so desperate for crack money they’d let someone talk them into a camel toe photo fest.

I remember the first one I went to a couple years ago, it was a grand time. Lot’s of tightly drawn polyester slacks and uncomfortably tight denim, of course. But all the old pals were there just the same. After the first five minutes, you forget all about the camel toe part and focus more on the reunion part, the part we all really came for anyway.

(by the way, I think if enough commenters put the words camel toe in your post, you’ll come up first in google whenever someone types in camel toe. Then, frequent visitors will unwittingly play a role in a new, meta and very strange type of camel toe reunion. Just a thought. Came toe camel toe camel toe. Reunion. Reunion. Reunion).

Sandwich…whuh? Wow, you sure have a…colorful…referral list.

In other news, the new site flava’ looks fabulous!

Xdm: Camel toe reunions sound like … fun? The way I see it, if you’re reuniting because of your camel toes, and love of said camel toes, why even pretend you’re just there to hang out? Shouldn’t they be talking about camel toes all night, taking pictures of each other’s work and sharing trade secrets regarding the nuances of camel toe design and functionality? It boggles!

J: I figure at some point I must have said “Fucking sandwich!” in a sort of fist-shaking, adversarial sort of way, which led to a sandwich fucker’s probable shock upon realizing Google’s inability to handle such a fetish. I’d Google sandwich fucking on my own just to see what happens, but I’m scared to death there is a sandwichfucking.com out there somewhere, just waiting for referrers.

Too freaking funny. I get some funny ones too. But I get tons of hits from this one image I posted up months ago. It’s of this guy’s painting…and the woman is naked with the worst looking vagina I’ve ever seen. (He was a guy who’d asked me out via the personals.) Anyways….I STILL get hits from that photo.
Ick!